MESSAGE FROM FRANK REED,

100% DISABLED VIETNAM VETERAN

Although I was raised as just another patriotic American, my experiences after serving as a Marine with the Kilo Company Weapons Platoon 3rd Battalion 1st Marines (1967-1968). I was given recognition for serving with distinction in combat operations against Communist Insurgent and North Vietnamese Army Forces in Quang Nam and Quang Tri Provinces of south Vietnam: notably the area of the northern banks of the Cua Viet River and the Demilitarized Zone. After returning home from serving  in Vietnam jaded my perspective toward Americans who collectively turned their backs on Vietnam veterans and demeaned their honorable service.  My response, like many others, was rage turned inwardly and outwardly into destructive and addictive behavior; from which I have been subsequently delivered.  I know that my Lord Jesus Christ loves me and cares about me; as he does you and will come into your life if you turn to Him.         

          So I am writing this to let all veterans and especially Vietnam veterans know there is someone who understands and cares.  I, Frank Reed, Marine Vietnam veteran, understand, and our Lord and Savior cares for you too. Ask and you will be forgiven, seek and you will find: a peace of mind, a new life of happiness.

          I am a 100% disabled Vietnam veteran from Stephenville, Texas, 254-918-2009.  I know and understand  from where the Vietnam vets are coming.  I know all the feelings: anger, hate, depression, loneliness, fear, anxiety, and the inability maintain close relationships.  I have had alcohol and drug problems, suicidal thoughts and  seven visits to the mental institutions. 

The Vietnam War was not a conventional war as was World War II,  where the U.S. was threatened by a uniformed and easily identified foe.  This was not the case in Vietnam where our forces sought to engage a shadowy guerilla force using hit and run tactics then evaporating into the landscape. There were no real lines of demarcation, and just about any area was subject to attack.  Most American forces had been trained to attack in conventional warfare in which other human beings were confronted and a plot of land is either acquired or lost in the fight.  However, in Vietnam the Vietcong rarely fought this way and much of the time relied on surprise firing devices such as booby traps and pungi-pits to inflict injury on their foes.      An objective might be won by our troops, secured one day but then abandoned for another one elsewhere another day; only to be directed to retake the first one again. No, this was not a conventional war.          The war seemed endless with an enemy rarely seen and no ground gain;  just a constant flow of troops in and out of the country.  To many the only observable outcome was a terrible production of maimed bodies and a long line of caskets carrying the remains of brave men who had given their last full measure of devotion to their country.    The frustration and rage that these combat conditions generated was widespread among American troops.  At times manifesting itself into violence and mistrust toward the Vietnamese authorities, as well as  the society that sent us to Vietnam. Authorities that dictated silly rules of engagement which ultimately tied the hands of the military; limiting our ability to engage and crush enemy forces as had been done by our country in wars passed. And a news media totally biased against the American defense complex which misrepresented actual events taking place in the war.

          With no real fixed strategy to win, the war to me and other  American war-fighters Vietnam became a private world of survival; each man fighting for the men around him.  I felt as though the American people had deserted us.  We were called baby killers and some even spat on us.  Some  veterans were met by an angry screaming crowd. The media opined we were depraved psychopathic killers.  I personally was met with hostility from ignorant friends and family members.  I felt that most of my veteran peers would rather not hear what my combat experience was like, therefore I felt rejected.  Much of what many Vietnam veterans had been through during the war would seem like crimes to their civilian peers; but in reality, facing the enemy on the battlefield, such actions are the only means of survival.  We have found it difficult to forget the lack of positive support from the American people upon our return.  America, it seemed, had turned her back on us when we needed her most.  Wounds I received in combat necessitated a lengthy eighteen month stay in a hospital bed. I left one war and came home and was discharged to fight another against my own country.  I fought it with anger, resentment and hate using alcohol and drugs as my weapons of choice.

          But I loved America.  I did not want to make war on her any more.  I was willing to give my life for her.  Deep inside I knew I had to change the hate and anger that had almost killed me.  I ended up in a dirty motel room on the bathroom floor dying from alcohol and drug addiction.  I remember waking up from my chemically induced stupor by the toilet. I gathered my strength, pulled myself to the edge of the bowl reached in with my hands and washed my face off then took a drink of the rancid water.  I was so sick I couldn't get up off the floor.  At that point in time I had lost it all: my family, my dignity, my self respect, my integrity. I had fallen into the pit of self bondage.  I had hit bottom.

          Lying there on the floor I asked if there was a God, for Him to please help me, and He did.  January 7, 1987, a motel worker found me and called the ambulance which took me to the V.A. hospital once again.  They put me in the mental institution once  again.  God answered my prayer.  I have suffered all the pains of alcohol and drug addiction.  I accepted the things I could not change and changed the things I could. I found that I can't change other people, places, and things.   All I can change is myself and forgive myself. That is the way it was.   I got into a 12-step program which is called A.A., and I turned my will and life over to the care of God as I understand Him.  I believe with all of my heart that He has forgiven me for what I had said and done to the Vietnamese and American people.  So, therefore, I can forgive the Vietnamese and American people for what they have done to me. 

          My life had been ever changed, each day is another victory and now I want to help fight to save America again by sharing my experience and hope with other combat veterans who suffer from alcohol and drug addiction.  Instead of using guns, let us all unite now to help save all vets including the men and women now coming home from service in Iraq and Afghanistan.  And help them to recover body and mind.  If you or a loved one need help, feel free to call us at 254-918-2009, or e-mail us at info@trtc.us. 

Frank Reed